THE POND IS OPEN. STANDARDS ARE NOT.
SMALL
PACKAGE.
MASSIVE
EGO.
Meet Popo the Chode Toad.
Short. Thick. Full of shit.
21+ humor · No neck. No shame. No refunds on your time.
CERTIFIED
BAD
DECISION ★
BAD
DECISION ★
“My Tinder says 6 inches.
I'm including the feet.”
SAME TOAD. THREE DIFFERENT BAD DECISIONS.I'm including the feet.”
♫ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK · TWO INCHES OF JAZZ104 BPM · 0 SELF-RESPECT
SMALL ARMS. BIG AUDACITY. ✳ $POPOTOAD ✳ ZERO THOUGHTS. FULL CONFIDENCE. ✳ SMALL ARMS. BIG AUDACITY. ✳ $POPOTOAD ✳
01 / THE LORE NOBODY ASKED FOR
Nature made a mistake.
He made it his personality.
Built like a dick. Smiles like he pays rent. Does neither particularly well. Popo is the guy who sends “you up?” at 2:47 AM. From a lily pad.
0THOUGHTS
100%UNJUSTIFIED CONFIDENCE
2:47AM — HIS TIME TO SHINE
02 / TOUCH GRASS. OR FLIES.
THE POND ARCADE®-ish
POPO'S POOR LIFE CHOICES AMUSEMENTS / EST. 2:47 AM
TONGUE & CHEEKINSERT ZERO COINS
🪰
TONGUE & CHEEK
Catch flies. Avoid the red flags.
Gold flies are worth 5. Three mistakes and you're dinner.
TAP TARGETS · OR FOCUS + ENTER
PERSONAL BEST 0NO MONEY. NO PRIZES. JUST EGO.
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE, ON THE HOUSE
ASK TO BE
HUMBLED.
“You have the confidence of a man whose bathroom mirror owes him an apology.”
Locally sourced insults. Farm-to-ego.THE DEPARTMENT OF QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS
YOUR POND
PASSPORT.
Earn your absolutely worthless credentials.
- ○ Catch your first fly
- ○ Make all 8 text decisions correctly
- ○ Score 90+ on Ego Check
- ○ Ask to be humbled 3 times
Saved on this device. Unlike your dignity.
|||| |||| || ||||| ||| |||||| ||
03 / UNLICENSED. UNQUALIFIED. UNBOTHERED.
THE BAD
ADVICE
HOTLINE.
Pick your problem. Popo will make it worse.
“Double text her. Then throw your phone in the pond. Closure.”
Comedy, obviously. Don't outsource your life to a toad.
04 / SAME TOAD. DIFFERENT RED FLAG.
PICK YOUR PROBLEM.
Download a Popo.
Lower the tone of your group chat.
WELCOME TO
THE FUCKING POND.
Small package. Massive fucking ego.